I Don't Know!

I was never afraid to use this phrase when it came to questions about knowledge. If you don't know, it is a good idea to say so rather than dole out wrong information. However, in times of decision, especially those decisions that concerned me, I never used it - and never thought that I would need to. I was always in control of things, even if I knew I wouldn't be able to come out on top, I knew that I would be able to handle the situation and had a good idea about how to weigh the options and chose the best possible one.
The last one year has changed everything. The number of things not going my way, have now left me in doubt of my own abilities to 'find the way' in testing times. Many of these events and outcomes occurred for no fault of my own. As a matter of fact, they were just quirks of fate, which I could do nothing about.
Even now, fate is not off my back - it keeps putting a big red stop sign in front of all my fresh starts, keeps putting what I want right in front of me but just beyond my reach and cutting of all my means of attaining it. Now I really understand the meaning of the phrase 'So near yet so far'.
So what now? What next? Well, I don't know, I don't....
... but, there's no giving up on life - so I am raring to go and find out and do my best to come out on top!