Resurrection

Wow, it's been more than 6 years since I have written on my personal blog. Reading some of those old posts makes me understand the huge difference in perspective between then and now. That also brings back good memories of spending time penning your own thoughts.

So, here's to resurrecting blogging with the goal of blogging at least 12 times a year! Let's bring it on.

Pollution Under Control

Just this Monday I was stopped by a traffic cop for routine checking. As my luck would have it my PUC certificate had expired just a week ago. The initial reaction was one of shock since I thought that renewal was due in April, which later turned to anger at myself and eventually transformed into acceptance of my mistake and resignation to that fact. I did mention to the cop that otherwise I am routine with keeping my PUC updated, and this time I genuinely forgot, but he wasn't willing to listen. He told me that he would 'challan' (fine) me Rs. 100. He was expecting a different reply, he seemed taken aback at my 'ok' as I took out a green coloured note and handed it over to him. After a moment of staring at me, he then pulled out some change from his pocket (Rs. 40), counted it and offered it to me saying that I could use that for getting a PUC test done if I didn't ask him for a 'pavti' (receipt). I told him that I would rather have the receipt. With another momentary stare, he proceeded to open his receipt book and issue me one.
The point of this post is not to portray myself as a hero and evoke a reply of 'cool' (or alternately 'jackass') from the reader, but to reflect as to whether it was the right thing to do. According to some people I happened to mention this incident to, it wasn't. A couple of reasonable questions were put to me:

1. Do you think the 100 rupees you paid will go anywhere else but in someone else's pocket? Will it be put to good use? If not a direct bribe, it will eventually end up in someone's bank account by way of a scam.

2. Does the cop who caught you even know the meaning of Pollution Under Control? Even if he does, is he standing in the middle of the road, catching errant motorists because he cares about enviromental pollution?

3. Does the PUC certificate hold any relevance? How is it that many 'visibly' polluting vehicles on Indian roads have valid PUC certificates?

I know that I can't honestly or confidently give a positive response to any of these questions.
The strange thing was, the guy who eventually did my PUC check didn't even bother to check the exact reading on the PUC machine. He did make the effort of puting in the inlet pipe into my bike's exhaust for a minute, after which he made me a new PUC certificate. Why would he deny anyone a PUC certificate and lose out on the Rs 30 income? For honesty? I know, I would do it for honesty, but I have been repeatedly told that not all people are (stupid) like me.

So here are the answers I gave myself to justify to my action to myself:

1. I don't know for sure. However, there is a definite probability that atleast some of it will be put to good use, after all, the cops ensure law and order (no one can deny that one can live with a reasonable feeling of safety in Pune), they have to use some of the money they are allotted or collect in the way of fines. If I would have paid the bribe, then I would have lost the right to criticise the cops in case some crime was committed in the city. Besides bribing is a two-way crime, both the parties are at fault. Hence, I was right in doing what I did.

2. In all probability the cop has no clue what PUC means, but he doesn't need to. He is doing his duty in checking whether people are following the rules, if I forgot to renew it, that's my fault, and it is my duty to pay the fine and renew the certificate, both of which I did. Hence, I did my duty and hence I was right.

3. It is a rule, and one made with good intention. Evidence of other people breaking the rules is never a good justification for breaking them yourself. (Unfortunately, that is a major problem in the attitude of most people - justifying their wrongs by pointing out that others are doing the same thing. I think this is one of the major flaws holding back India's social development, but that discussion should be a part of another post). I don't want to join the set of people breaking rules which are good for the planet. I will do my bit by following them. Hence, I have convinced myself that I was right again.

One of the good things that comes out of getting the feeling that one has done the 'right' thing is peaceful sleep and I enjoy mine :)

Life At It Again!

The last 4 days of my life have been quite eventful - events which make you realise that life is much beyond what we know, see or hear...
Events which make you realise the value and worth of your situation...
Often, in life, when one is unhappy with their own state of affairs, it is a good idea to take a look around you, n then you will realise how lucky you are. Actually, one may argue that looking around may be among the root causes of unhappiness, after all, it is seeing others living 'seemingly' better lives that makes us unhappy with our own... The problem is that we only tend to selectively look at others lives, we only look at those aspects which are better than ours, or which are good. We don't look at people's lives in totality. No one's life is a perfect bundle of happiness, if one shines in one area, he lacks in the other... Of course, there are exceptions to this - but they are rarely found... When I look at others lives in totality, I often realise that I would not want to exchange my position with theirs.
The last week has shown me that I have a reasonably decent life, and there are some (actually many) parts that I wish to change, but they will come.. in time...
Anyway, here is the account of the various events that left me both shaken and stirred.
On Thursday, I went to see a friend of mine who survived a freak accident quite miraculously. He fell off the terrace of a 13 floor building, and luckily landed on the parapet between the 10th and 11th floors. He did have to undergo a 4 hour surgery of his spinal cord. He was lucky to be alive and to not be paralysed... the doctors said he would be able to walk in about 6 months... At the early age of 19, he is just at the beginning of his life, a talented and well meaning chap, I wish him all the best... Goes to show, how life can take the most unimaginable turns that too at times when it is least expected to.
Friday, for me would be an unforgettable day, March 6th, 2009, the day I finally spoke my heart our after a year and a half... the day I realised that others seemingly perfect lives, are as far from perfection as one can imagine... It was a two hour long conversation, and a conversation in which I realised that I had been put on a road which had no destination, the only purpose for destiny to send me down that path, was for me to learn and understand the finer points of life, for me to get stronger by the pain it caused me, for me to... well there may be more reasons which are unknown to me at this point... Yes, but this road has been the most painful one I have gone through, and yet the most educating... It confirmed that what I roughly doubted were mistakes, were exactly that... Though whether they were necessarily bad or not, I still do not know... but I guess life will tell me that too... The day ended by taking a trip to the railway station... Why I do that, is already enlisted in another post... but that didn't end the day... there were more responsibilities, which involved helping a distraught friend over the phone... the same friend in whose words I had sought to seek solace in my troubled state of mind... life is indeed ironic...
Saturday was the day I had decided that I will do something that I have been meaning to in quite a while but never found the time to. That was to roam in the city I admire - Bombay. I wanted to get lost alone. especially after the events of Friday, but I had already promised a friend, permission to share my adventures... It was good in a way that I had company, good company always keeps one's spirits out of the depths... Yes, but we did exactly that... roamed about aimlessly there... the best part was that we spent a majority part of our day near the sea... with near perfect weather and a wonderful breeze playing a huge part in its efforts to sooth my tormented nerves... the evening was spent at Girgaon chowpatty where the setting sun and my friend's decision to get a feel of the sea left me with time to myself to reflect, ponder and introspect... The conclusion that everything was my fault, was short-lived as my efforts to live according to that, were actively thwarted by fate... I don't know yet whether that is a wrong conclusion or whether its not yet the time to make that conclusion, because there is some bit of the aforementioned road left to be trodden... The day ended with me disclosing more things to people than I would have liked too, but with the way things are going, this seemed like a small hiccup at the moment... Though it may come up as a nice big obstacle at the next turn in the road, whatever I said, I said in total honesty and in good intent, so I have nothing bearing down on my heart...
Sunday was relatively devoid of adventure. I spent time with my folks in Bombay, met up with people I haven't seen in a while and am proceeding back to Pune in a bus at the moment... Foot-board local-train travel, and a fairly good looking (engaged) girl mistakenly sitting for a short while before being evacuated, in the seat next to me were the highlights of the day...

A few inspiring lines from a Hindi song to end this long post:
'Sacha ho dil toh, sau mushkilein ho, jhukta nasiba paun main'...

100

A nice trip to Bhor's Rambaug campsite for the major camp on Friday night, was the highlight of the week for me. It started with a lovely one and a half hour evening ride from Pune to Bhor on a smooth 4 lane NH-4 highway with the picturesque Sahyadris adorning the landscape on both sides. The night was well spent sitting by a campfire, with old buddies - singing songs, listening to one of them playing the guitar and reliving old memories with jokes about the times that were... And all this in the wonderful rustic setting of a village campsite! Our campfire went on till 4:15 in the morning... after which we had a peaceful slumber in one of the tents. All in all, a good end to the day!
The next morning after getting up lazily at around 9:15 (pretty late for a camp) and having a light breakfast, Viraj and I left for Pune at around 11:30. The previous evening, we had agreed that we would each drive one way, and this time it was my turn to drive.
I haven't ridden bikes on highways much, only thrice before. Twice it was in and around Pune itself and once in Ladakh. On the Pune rides, I've never crossed 100 kmph. I had got to 95 a couple of times on a Pulsar 150 but the bike seemed to be getting a little shaky so I had to back off on those occasions. In Ladakh, I was on a powerful but old Thunderbird, but that had a defunct speedometer. Given the empty and beautiful stretch of road we were riding on in Ladakh, I strongly felt that I must have crossed 100, but I had no way of confirming it. That said, I have crossed 100 on a two wheeler as a pillion on Amit's Thunderbird on a Mulshi ride we had back in 2007, his speedometer needle had gone upto 120, but there is a difference - crossing high speeds on bikes being the driver causes adrenalin-filled elation while the same experience being the pillion rider causes... well, lots of tension :)
But yesterday, 21st Feb, 2009 was the day, I finally broke the 100 barrier being the driver, and that too thrice. It was done on a Bajaj Avenger, with a nervous Viraj on the rear seat. The bike did take some effort crawling towards that magical figure especially with it being 3 years old and having two 75 kilo heavy adults to carry, but it pulled through eventually, managing a little above 105 kmph, after which I had to relax the throttle, to stay within the limits of safe driving.
The attaining of this small personal landmark was a good ending to an eventful week, which had me on another one of life's roller coaster rides of lows and highs....

Slumdog Millionaire - Thoughts And Lessons

I just saw this fantastic movie which has become a buzzword in coffee table conversations in India since the last two weeks. Leaving aside the hype (which in my opinion serves its own merit), I definitely felt that there is a lot of substance in the movie. The portrayal of how a slumdog answers questions in a quiz show to become a millionaire winner, which he has learnt the hard way in his tumultuous life, showcases the ironies of life. Life has its own way of surprising us - no one has a perfect life. People blessed with certain gifts lack others. Often they have no regard for what they have blessed with but remorse for what they lack. Until of course they either lose what they have or gain what they don't.
One of the main things I picked up from the movie is that - whatever life throws at you - never give up - the good times never last forever and neither do the bad ones. Take every moment at it comes up as a challenge to live through it and learn if it is bad or enjoy it to the fullest if it good... True there is something called destiny - but fortune nevertheless favours the brave and persistent and patient... Happiness is a relative term which depends on the way you treat what life gives you.
In short - Never give up!

Searching at 25

An interesting point in my life, this 3rd day of the 10th month of the year 2008. I have completed 25 years of my existence a few months ago. Today I ask myself the point and purpose of my life. Though I would definitely say that the last 12-13 years of my life were reasonably well spent (with a couple of exceptions), there are a few things that I think I may have missed out on. Some of these were a compromise over the things I chose to do, whereas some were just plain oversights. I don't really know whether I regret not having these things in my 'Been there, done that' list, which isn't very pleasant, since this knowledge is needed to plan the remaining years of my life.
Now the task lying before me is to decide my priorities and draft up a plan towards attaining my goals. This hopefully should be done in the next 48 hours since I am running out of time...

Random Musings Of A Sleepless Mind...

Writing after a break makes me feel a little rusty, but the title of this post gives me the necessary slack to write away without worrying about the result. I still have a log of my Ladakh trip pending, a trip which gave me much needed refreshment and which got my mind to a state of fresh enthusiasm and vigour. The sleeplessness to which the title alludes is not due to turbulence within the confines of my cranial cavity, but due to some crazy idiot outside my building screaming some nonsense on a loudspeaker. Supposedly somebody decided that staying on a cycle for 6 days is among the best things to do with one's time. The local corporator decided to second this decision, and the idle public living in the cow-sheds next to my house got another reason to bring out the loudspeakers. This time, they hired somebody to 'compere', and since the last 6 days, he has been screaming arbitrary nonsense on the loudspeaker preventing the hardworking public of my area from exercising their fundamental right to sleep.
So, what should I muse about? Should it be about India's first gold medal at the Olympic Games after 28 years? Congrats to Abhinav Bindra for that! Should it be about the way the civic administration has dug up the approach roads to my workplace, so that my travel time has doubled? Should it be about my experiences while learning to drive a car (Good for me, but not for the poor innocent vehicle) ? Should it be about plans for the long weekend coming up ahead? Should it be about the software engineer who committed suicide (incidentally the chap was my batchmate's brother - God bless his family!)? Should it be about India's victory at the AFC cup (Congrats to them too!)? Well, I'm so sleepy that I can't even think of what to write about!! Thankfully, I can abandon the search for a purposeful solution to my quandary since the loudspeakers have finally fallen silent, and I can retreat into a peaceful slumber...

I Don't Know!

I was never afraid to use this phrase when it came to questions about knowledge. If you don't know, it is a good idea to say so rather than dole out wrong information. However, in times of decision, especially those decisions that concerned me, I never used it - and never thought that I would need to. I was always in control of things, even if I knew I wouldn't be able to come out on top, I knew that I would be able to handle the situation and had a good idea about how to weigh the options and chose the best possible one.
The last one year has changed everything. The number of things not going my way, have now left me in doubt of my own abilities to 'find the way' in testing times. Many of these events and outcomes occurred for no fault of my own. As a matter of fact, they were just quirks of fate, which I could do nothing about.
Even now, fate is not off my back - it keeps putting a big red stop sign in front of all my fresh starts, keeps putting what I want right in front of me but just beyond my reach and cutting of all my means of attaining it. Now I really understand the meaning of the phrase 'So near yet so far'.
So what now? What next? Well, I don't know, I don't....
... but, there's no giving up on life - so I am raring to go and find out and do my best to come out on top!

The Old Spirit

Software professionals are really lucky, that over the course of their careers they get to work across a variety of cultures. There are home-made service based mammoths (Infy, Wipro et al), product based companies (like my current one Symantec) and the craziest of the lot - startups (my previous company AirTight Networks). Well, why lucky? Coz they get to experience variety and get to chose! Whether choice is always a good thing or not is a topic for another post, but here we shall assume that this choice is good.
Why I am enumerating this aspect of the software profession, one may wonder. That is because today I met with with my former teammates at AirTight. The same folks with whom I started my career and with whom I have spent an exciting and fun 18 months. And after this rendezvous, I realized this difference. I realized it because I had changed drastically since I joined Symantec last Feb. My attitude towards the professional aspects of life, the way I think about work, about technology have changed noticeably. I must say that all this change wasn't for the worse. Some of it can also be passed off as a sign of maturity. However, one of the major differences I saw was the ability to be free in thought and words, to be free in ideas, to be free in how you think technology should progress. In a big MNC, there are lots of processes to be followed, there are things you can't do and there are things you mustn't do, there are things which won't be well received until you are at a particular 'experience level'. While in a startup, well its a free world - you are not too young for anything. Ideas from you are heard irrespective of who you are. Your voice counts - it is at least heard! The main change in attitude that this difference causes is the ability to believe that your ideas can be brought to fruition. A startup mindset thinks that the implementation of an idea is always just a few steps away, whereas an MNC mindset thinks about 'whether' and 'if' and about all the various processes involved that make the implementation seem miles away.
I am not blaming the culture of my company, since I agree that the discipline ensured by processes and procedures is necessary to sustain a corporate giant. In a startup, it is easy to think and ponder over ideas from a few of the 100 employees while in a multinational, it is impossible to listen to even a fraction of the tens of thousands of employees! All I am saying is that, I had stopped thinking about big ideas, but when I met my old buddies, even the casual conversation resurrected the old free thinking spirit! And I am glad that happened - a refreshed outlook was badly needed by this battered soul!

P.S. No disrespect to any kind of company here - this post just discusses one (well known) advantage of a startup over an MNC. I have learnt through my varied experiences at each of these two types of companies and gained different things at each place.

Good Don't Go

The difference between right and wrong - isn't that what most people tried teaching us all throughout our childhood? Our parents, our teachers, elders all made it a point to convince us little impressionable beings to be 'good children', 'good people' and 'good humans'. Isn't it ironic though, that most adults actually believe that in order to survive or be successful, it is important that we forget or ignore this difference? That we chose the path which will get us to the goal, giving little importance to the ethical appropriateness of our means? And we give it a flashy term too - street smartness!
I wouldn't blame them totally. I know that expecting the world to be nice to you because you are nice is like expecting a tiger not to eat you because you are a vegetarian. Also, when things in life don't end up going your way or when you are stung by the so-called street smart, it is very easy and tempting too to go all sour and bitter against the world and enroll in the 'no use being nice' school of thought. I have been pretty close (and still am) to crossing over on the other side. Luckily, stubbornness and great friends have helped me stay rooted on this side of the line.
So I wonder, given that I am in the adult minority, am I being foolhardy in believing that good will take me where I want to go? That it will take me much further than bad? Lets see - In a way the immediate benefits of changing my beliefs are many. Firstly, I can blame all that's happening in life to my 'trying to be good'. Bad can make me a winner much faster in all that I have failed to conquer. But my question is - will it keep me there? Will it make me one of those cynics who treat the whole world as 'guilty until proven innocent'? Thats like being wary of others like yourself! Will I start looking at life like a battle to be fought rather than a journey to be enjoyed? Most importantly, will that fetch me sustainable happiness? Well, I don't think so!
So it pains me every time someone from my team decides to change sides. I don't know what to promise to them if they stay on, since I haven't seen too many benefits myself. As of now its only the fact that you will be at peace with yourself. But like all good things, I guess most realize that the value of it only when its gone and its too late for anything to be done about it. Don't make that mistake! Keep the faith!

Learn To Gauge?

At the receiving end of some advice earlier today (which is not surprising given the bumpy road on which my life is traveling), I was told that I should "learn to gauge". Some background for the clueless reader - the talk was about people. Interesting thing this, I thought. How should I learn to gauge things about people? Well maybe, by generalizing - if I can figure out what people do or how they think in certain situations then maybe I can gauge whatever it is that I am supposed to gauge. But then this same kind hearted soul pointed out a major flaw in the above hypothesis - "people are different and they may not always think and react in the same way".
Well, this got me confused... Isn't there something known as rationality and logical thinking? Yet there are people who don't think and act in the same way (as I was told) and hence concluded that they don't necessarily act and react logically. I know that all humans aren't machines (heck even machines don't always act in the same logical way), so I would think it safe to accept a small margin of variance in terms of logical behavior but not enough to proclaim that no rule can be made of it (calling the variances - exceptions). Another useless hint for the still clueless reader - A 'specific subset' of all people was the target group being spoken about.
So, here I am, still left with the fundamental question of "How to gauge"? Well, people of the world (or the subset under consideration here), hear, think and understand:

"Life will be made much easier if what you want the other person to know is communicated explicitly. Speech, written words, instant messengers, SMSes, emails etc are the various means at your disposal to achieve this objective. Use them. Telepathy is NOT a reliable medium yet. Please do not expect others 'to gauge' or worse still, to 'somehow know' what you want them to.
For those of you don't agree, since I still have to share this planet with you, I am trying to learn 'to gauge'... Any help in this regard would be highly appreciated!"

Sulking - Q & A

Question: Well, why do people sulk?
Answer: Because they have the time. If you have a lot of work and responsibilities and are left with little time at the end of the day, enough only to talk to friends and family about happy things and to sleep, you will never sulk.

Question: What kind of people sulk?
Answer: Those think that life sucks and that's how it is and those who think that life should not suck.

Question: Well then who's left? Rather what kind of people don't sulk?
Answer: Those who do not have expectations from life or have rather few of them which are met easily. And those who are really really really lucky to have all their desires fulfilled.

Question: So, is sulking good or bad?
Answer: Both. A little is necessary, but as all things in life - "Too much is too bad".

Question: If I have decided that I will not sulk and even then on a one off occasion, I am still whining to myself about "Why me?" or "Why not me?", is that a bad thing?
Answer: Nope, its human - At that point looking at others less fortunate than you and asking the same questions helps... Also looking at the good in your life and asking the same questions again helps even more.

Question: What is the ideal conclusion to a sulking session?
Answer: A bottle of Old Monk rum which concludes in a sound sleep with the cause of the sulking temporarily deported to a far off galaxy!
Answer (For the poor teetotalers like me) : Well, if the cause of sulking can be remedied then try your best to rectify it. If it can't, then no point crying - there is nothing you can do anyway!

Question: What if .... Hey, stop it - enough for the night! No further questions!

Just FYI, the above monologue is not the result of a bottle of Old Monk rum or any other intoxicating spirit for that matter :)

Vegetable Buying - Redefined!

Another weekend ends. This weekend had all the essentials of a good weekend - an evening out with friends, a good amount of personal and household work accomplished, a nice trek to Sinhagad on a cloudy summer day and an evening full of rest. I had planned on writing a little more on the topic of blogging, but now another interesting experience needs telling.

This experience of which I talk about, which was a rather interesting part of the weekend was buying vegetables for the house. Well no, I am not saying this was interesting because this was the first time I have bought any (I am not that hopeless you see). It was interesting for me because it was the first time that I bought them at a supermarket.

Until now all my vegetables buying experiences were at the local markets - either Shivaji market or Pulgate market. Buying vegetables at such places was nothing short of a mission. I had to go mentally prepared to survive in a noisy, crowded marketplace, with the end goal being procuring self-picked vegetables at not the most expensive price available and in the shortest time possible. The brain needed to tune itself to enter a filthy narrow corridor of a public market between hordes of fruits and vegetable sellers screaming out the prices of their wares to the whole world. The intention behind their screaming seemed more to outdo their peers in the exercise rather than attract customers. The 15 minutes spent there bargaining, selecting, ensuring the correct weighing and eventually buying the vegetables would end up being the most arduous part of the day.

This time I bought vegetables at a quiet spacious air-conditioned store (named 'more' or something like that) with polite staff ready to help you with every task with gleaming smiles. There was no need to haggle, no need to try and select the good vegetables from the bad (all the vegetables appeared to be of a reasonable quality) and no need to lend a hawk's eye to inspect the process of weighing and packaging. This was smooth sailing all the way from the entrance to the shopping and back to the exit... Well, almost smooth - being a little rusty in the vegetable nomenclature, I did confuse a couple of vegetable names, but I am sure that would not take anything from the feat achieved by buying a scooter-load of vegetables effortlessly without going through the motions of a battlefield-like marketplace.

The 'Why" On Blogs - Part 1

Lately I've been surfing around the blogosphere. That got me back to some 'why' questions about blogs. These, I had asked myself the very first time I made an acquaintance with the concept of blogging. I was told 'A blog is like a personal diary on the Internet'. I wondered why the heck would someone want to put up their personal diary on the Internet? I had an electronic personal diary at the time, but I could not imagine putting that up in the open for all to read, analyze and judge. Why? Because they were thoughts which needed to be expressed somewhere but were not suitable for public consumption. Mind you, some of the entries would definitely have ruffled many a feather! Isn't that why people write personal diaries in the first place - to let out your thoughts which you think you can't even share with your friends? And for all the other thoughts one wants to share, you always have friends and family. With this simple chain of thought, I happily concluded that blogging was only for some lonely souls who had no one to lend a ear to their thoughts and were trying to seek solace in the hope that their transmission in cyberspace would increase the chances of them being heard. I did create a blog to see what it was all about and blogged anonymously for a short while but I soon lost interest. Thus, after corroborating my theoretical conclusion with practical experience, I dismissed blogs from my online itinerary.
The time at which the above research was conducted was while I was in college, i.e. when I lived the majority of my life in the real world. Since I graduated and joined the software industry, I see many things (blogging included) in a different light. So if you were wondering, why the heck has this guy spent his time to write a blog post if he doesn't believe in the concept in the first place, I must tell you that the new light to which I was referring to earlier has led to newer thought chains and newer conclusions, which I shall elaborate on, in a subsequent post.

Game Over! A New One To Begin Soon!

This weekend marked a tribute to a journey, which though unsuccessful, was quite an eye-opening one. I primarily reflected over the roads traveled, the turns taken, the turns mistaken and the eventual result. Dwelling on all these, I drew up a road-map for the road ahead - not a very long one - just for the next few months. Seems like a weekend well spent.

Here's me looking forward to a brand new start tomorrow!

Testing Times

There are times, some things don't work out. Every man and woman lives through them. That was something I knew. One thing I didn't know however, was that there are times when all things don't work out and nothing happens as planned. The last few months have elaborately rid me of my ignorance in this regard. So much so, that now I am highly tempted be a devout believer in Murphy's Laws. It is a unique feeling when you question whether the entire universe has conspired against you to create turbulence in almost each and every aspect of your life.

The good thing about such times is that they truly test your strength. The bad thing is that they run the risk of making you cynical. They make you lose enthusiasm in life. One may then begin to live life accepting that reality is always dark. That thought occurred to me too. In the fight of hope versus reality, reality always wins - so why does everyone say "Keep Hope"? Some say that hope and reality don't fight - they simply move on their own paths which meet on and off. Some say that hope has various sisters - one should side with the sister called "Realistic Hope". The only difficulty lies in identifying "Realistic". Well, the truth as I see it is that hope keeps you prepared for the impending reality but does not allow you to give up.

An adage goes - "The good thing about bad things is that they come to an end." I hope that that end is near! As of now, I hope that my stubbornness helps me continue to keep faith in the fact that life is beautiful in spite of all its ups and downs, and help me through the current 'down' that I am going through. Yes, I trust hope again...

The Week That Was...

Here am I, writing for the second time in a week. The week which just went by was a rather interesting and eventful one and hence deserves a dedicated post. The events which made it such are enumerated below in chronological order:
It started on Monday (as most weeks do), which involved me spending the day in my office in a sleep deprived state. However, Monday was special because among other things, it was involved me being appraised of the fact that I was given an award at work. This news couldn't have come at a better time. Maybe that last statement needs further explanation, but I can't reveal more at this moment...
Tuesday was nice because we had a lovely team lunch at 'All Stir Fry' in E-Square. The good thing about this was not only the scrumptious meal but also the fact that our entire team interacted with each other in a totally informal atmosphere and had fun together, something which is not usual in the 'multinational corporate culture' normally seen in my company.
Wednesday was different too, again detailed reasons as to why, mustn't be made public.
Thursday was definitely among the better days I have had in the whole year, and apart from the excellent Dandiya event in my office (to which the previous post is dedicated), it was also the day of the week in which I managed to get the maximum work done.
Friday and Saturday were different, since we had a training session in my company. The topic of the training session was 'Ethical Hacking', which is an interesting topic. One thing about this activity deserving mention is that the trainer himself was quite 'entertaining', to say the least!
Sunday morning was spent in a boring but necessary exercise, the afternoon was spent getting some well deserved rest, while the evening was spent meeting up with various sets of friends, some of them after a long time!
Here is me finishing the wonderful week off with a post summarizing its various events. Hope, the weeks that follow continue to be this exciting :)

Dandiya Again!

This year, due to certain circumstances brought about by my own doing, I missed out on the Dandiya programme organized in my society on both days. However, I was given another chance to club sticks when my company decided to organize a Dandiya evening on the 25th of October. Initially, I was quite skeptical about how the event would turn out, especially with regard to participation, since the environment in my organization is reasonably formal.
However, when I saw the way some people had come dressed in the morning, I realized that - well there is a fun side to all those grim intellectuals too and in the afternoon when I saw the way the preparations for the event were underway, I was certain that the evening had a lot in store.
The 'ethnic' attire worn by me included a kurta (which I changed into earlier in the evening) worn over my jeans and a set of mojari's bought from Udaipur. After completing my work for the day I headed off toward the cafeteria. I reached there just as the music was starting. I was astonished to see such a lot of beautiful people there since I didn't know so much beauty existed within my workplace :)
Well, here I was playing Dandiya again this year, initially with my colleague friend Ritesh, then joined by a couple of other colleagues, then joined by some more till we had a nice big group of around 8-10 people. Then on it was one and a half hour of continuous and fast dance and sheer enjoyment arising from dancing to the beats of the excellent music being played by the live band! The good thing about Dandiya is that its reasonably simple and even people who aren't accomplished dancers (like me) can appear to do a decent job of ... well 'dancing'. The last half an hour saw the band playing disco hits like Bhool Bhulaiya which had us abandoning our sticks and dancing 'freestyle' for a while.
Not normally a party type guy, I really enjoyed this one, mainly because of the fact that this was one party without the stench of alcohol, unsocial behavior of some intoxicated by it or any unpleasant cigarette smoke. Also, I find a good refreshment in expressive art forms like dancing and singing. (I must add, that I am an amateur at both.)
All in all, I had a wonderful time at this event thanks to the excellent work done by the organizers, great music played by the band and the splendid company of fellow colleagues in my group!

An Hour At The Railway Station

I had started writing this post almost a year back - the draft says 30/09/06, but that was under a different context, and in different times.
To give justice to the time spent then, I quote whatever little I had written:
"This was among the common easy topics in school. However, the actual experience is a lot of fun. Especially when you aren't there to catch a train or receive someone, but to simply spend an hour there, observing and experiencing the activities at a railway station.
Rail travel always entails more confusion and tension than any other form of travel..."
However, last evening the mood was on another plane. Having had an interesting day, I spent an hour at the railway station. The time was approximately between 8:30 and 9:30 p.m. This time, there were no long distance trains that came and went. The platforms were either empty or had empty trains berthed after their journey from Bombay. The normally buzzing and chaotic station was quite calm and peaceful today, it felt almost as if I was walking in a frame frozen in time. That was good for me, since I was able to sit down and think over my life and over my current and future state. My friend was with me too, but I still did get time to reflect while both of us were taking in the serene atmosphere.
So I got thinking- I thought about trains - how at times there are two places you want to go, two trains you want to catch, but its almost impossible to decide. Its even worse when you don't have a reservation in either train and don't even know how far the will trains take you toward your destination. So the chance of either decision not working out and of you getting back to where you started from after a lot of effort and sacrifice is significant. Then I tried to explore the cause of this confusion and I realized that its main cause is the fact that you want to get somewhere. In my case, I want to go someplace else even though I am not particularly unhappy with my current state of affairs. I have more than enough of what I need, and at the rate I am going I am sure that situation will at least persist, if not improve. However, I want to change the status quo, go elsewhere, someplace better. Knowing that I have brought this confusion upon me out of choice, I feel a little better, I don't feel sorry for myself for being unlucky.
Now a little effort towards its resolution, there is no point in trying to get reservations in two trains which I can't board simultaneously, I know I have to make a choice. Also, I know that I might get at a place similar to the one I forfeit now, sometime in the future (irrespective of whether the journey I chose now is successful or not), the alternate place may not be all that good, but then it would be my choice. As they say 'you win some, you lose some', I just hope I am not unlucky to lose all. Also, from my current position, I don't have enough information on which choice will be better or in which one I will be more successful, both are risks.
One may feel that I am trying to palm off responsibility on luck by calling my choices risks, however, I know that my choices will only affect me and I learn from mistakes if any. Another short one on luck - at times isn't on your side at all. Just a few hours back I had an accident. I skidded on a turning because there was a trail of some viscous liquid (probably a lubricant of some sort) spilt on the road, at a turning. The trail was quite thin, a tyre width at max, but my back wheel had to go on it at the exact same time I turned. So I skidded and fell and injured myself when there was absolutely no fault of mine, and the chances of me turning while on the thin trail of liquid weren't very high. That's luck and it does have its effects on ... well, life!
One positive conclusion was that I have to make a choice and that this is a good thing. So I thought of what I have to do next. For either of my choices, I must act fast, time is running out quickly. Try my best in it, and if it doesn't work out, learn from my mistakes, and move on. Worrying about it now will not help, it will only consume my time and waste it!
I have made my choice, I feel a little sad for the other choice but I hope the future will hold something better. (Hope is really powerful you know!).
Here's me signing out promising myself on working toward my goals to the best of my ability without worrying about things that are beyond my control and don't warrant the attention.
The hour at the railway station also deserves my gratitude for helping me make this resolve!

Random!!!!!

Okay - here's a warning to anyone who has started reading this post - DON'T! Scroll up or down and read other ones which make at least little sense. This one is just as the title says - Random!!!
To start - I hope I finish this post, but then again - I shouldn't really care whether its ends logically.
So what is it that I want to write? Do I want to make statements or ask questions? Well, lets see.... why the hell am I wondering? This is random, hence no rules! I am already beginning to love random!!! (To those who are still reading, get off NOW while you still have some sanity left!!!)
In a random world one would easily be able to walk up to the girl one liked and asked her out! Not go crazy wanting to but never really going ahead and doing it. In a random world, one would just go ahead and follow his dream and not suppress it in the name of practicality. In a random world, one wouldn't have to worry about being careful of people trying to stab one in the back or mischief-mongers who twist your words to use them against you! Now wait a sec, is this a random world I am talking about or a perfect world? Doesn't matter really. One person's randomness is another's perfection. How? Well, simple - a perfect sentence written in Chinese looks random and therefore senseless to me. Hence how the world seems depends on who is looking at it. Also, this proves that ignorance transforms perfection into randomness!
I talk about a random world, then say randomness is at times a view of perfection distorted by ignorance. Ignorance some say is bliss! Maybe that is because there is no perfection in the world, hence people like to feel that the reason for them not seeing perfection is not because the world is a place devoid of perfection, but because they are ignorant and what is around them is in fact perfect, its just that they can't see it and are happy thinking it is there!!
Hence, I too can attain bliss by saying that my life is perfect, its only my ignorance because of which I can't see it. Unfortunately, I am among those unlucky beings who don't like ignorance. It is imperative for them to know or at least try to know the hows and whys of life. However, the more they know, the more they realize how far perfection is... the harder they try to attain that perfection. This goes on till they run out of their greatest strength..... hope!